For ONE

*NOTE: The following post is from something I wrote after my final outreach expedition in Zambia in November, 2011.

The Heart of God absolutely astounded me this past week in the bush. Our team got dropped off with hearts full of expectation. It was our final expedition concluding our AMT time here in Zambia. I think it’s almost comical, because the heart of man is so quick to look for numbers. I know that it’s easy for me to want to see the LORD do huge works in multitudes of people. But God truly worked in me to give me His heart on this expedition.

The location that we were ministering in was fairly remote. We were in a central location to several villages and households surrounding us. However, the places where the people lived were quite far from where we were. We would have to walk for miles just to get to a couple of people. We tried holding a few larger meetings, and only two adults came (along with 70 kids from the school). We even showed the Jesus film, and there were mostly children there and a few women came after the movie had already ended.

To the natural mind, this would almost seem like it wasn’t worth it. To the eye that looks at the things of the flesh, and the human understanding of success, it may have even looked like failure. However, this is not the heart of our God.

Our God loves so fiercely that He calls saints from the other end of the world to walk in extreme heat for miles to a little home tucked away just so that ONE person can know the He loves them. Our God is so much greater than we can even fathom that He looks at a group of 70 children and sets them apart as His army in this nation. His understanding goes so far beyond what the natural eye can see.

This trip was so profound because in a lot of ways it was so opposite of my human expectations. Yet it was so completely God’s perfect will. The individuals that we did have the privilege of reaching were such key instruments in God’s plan for that village. The times that we spent with the people were so rich and heavenly. When we talked with them, barriers fell to the ground and their hearts were open and bare before God.

What I witnessed on this expedition was genuine Kingdom work. We didn’t just go into a place with a big show and then leave. There was lasting, eternal fruit harvested on this trip. There was Stanley and his wife Janet, who are so hungry to be strong in faith and desire to be used by God in their village. There was Martin and his grandfather who want to take a stand in their village for truth, righteousness, and wholehearted devotion to God. There was Gideon who was refreshed and encouraged to go even deeper with God, and to walk forward in boldness and power. Even our translators with us went so deep with God this week, and lasting changes were made in them. I saw steadfast, humble leaders raised up on this trip. These are the ones that are going to shake the nation of Zambia.

You see, God compels us to go after just one person. He calls us to go to the ends of the earth even so that one can hear of His love. My heart can barely fathom this Love that He has. And it is this Love that changes the world.

What's even more beautiful is that He loves each of us this way. No matter how we may try to run away, ignore, or take advantage of God's love... He still pursues us relentlessly! It's not a love based on circumstances, nor a love that's measured by physical blessings. It's a love that proved itself long ago, when Jesus Christ willingly gave His life that any who call upon Him might have Life... life everlasting and life abundant. It's a love that declares that no matter what you are going through, God wants to hold your heart, take your hand, and walk through it with you. It's a love that came down and tasted of the same suffering (and even greater suffering) as you may find yourself in even now. Because God, who so loved YOU did not choose to abide far off, but gave His very own life so that we could draw near to Him, and drink of His love freely. So that we can draw near to Him and find greater comfort than we've ever known by His love and presence.

Emmanuel- it means God with us. He came once as a baby, He suffered once as a man, and He rose again the conquerer of death, the giver of Life and Love to ALL. And His heart is for YOU.

Lacking Nothing

"Occasionally in life there are those moments

of unutterable fulfillment which cannot

be completely explained by those symbols called words.

Their meanings can only be articulated

by the inaudible language of the heart."

I dance in fields of abundance. Not an abundance of things physical. Not what I hold in my hands. Not anything I have stored away. It is no possession that this earth can hold. I dance with joy because I have everything I need in Christ. Everything. Words cannot even seem to reach far enough to fully express the abundance of LIFE and full joy that I have in my beautiful Savior.

His words ever resound in my ear, "Surely, I am with you." My heart rejoices in realizing more fully the depth of this promise. What more does my soul need? If He is all things, and everything I need... how could I ever have any lack? He is my all-sustaining One. He is enough. Could I mock Him by allowing even one negative thought to plague my mind, or to utter even one complaint? There is no room for it. Though it is not so for me now, if everything failed, if every circumstance was pain and difficulty... still I would have reason to praise and worship. BECAUSE He is with me always. That alone should cause songs to continually rise from my heart, praise to constantly be upon my lips, and dancing to be in every step. He is ever with me, what glorious abundance!

{You are complete in Him. Col.2:20}

Truly, I am complete in my Jesus. In Him I am whole. Every gap is filled, all things are new and glorious. There is no greater JOY than belonging wholly to Him. In Luke 15, the prodigal son leaves the father and wasted all his inheritance on fruitless things. When a famine came upon the land, he began to be in want. But it says of the son who never left the father, "You have always been with me, and all that is mine is yours." Everything that belongs to the Father belongs to those who are His. In the presence of God, having fellowship (relationship, being WITH Him), there is NO lack. There is no want.

{The LORD is my shepherd (Guide); I shall not WANT Ps. 23:1}

Wherever the LORD leads me, wherever He takes me, I need not fear for He will be with me always. In Him I have all that I need, and in fellowship with Him I will find every need satisfied. No matter what I face, I will abide in the fullness of life as I abide in Him.

"My brothers, count it all joy, when you fall into

diverse temptation; knowing this, that the

trying of your faith works patience. But let

patience have her perfect work, that you may

be mature and complete, wanting {lacking} NOTHING."

(James 1:2-4)

The revelation of this truth absolutely astounds me. The cry of my heart every remains, "Whatever YOU want". Because I know that in everything, all my needs are met in Christ. I know that all His ways towards me are good. I know that no matter what lies ahead, no matter the uncertainties, no matter the difficulties, no matter the trials, the testings, the temptations, NOTHING can take away. Nothing can take away the abundance that I have in Jesus. Nothing can take away the life, joy, and love that I have in Him. To have HIM is to have EVERYTHING.

So gladly, confidently, expectantly I will walk forward. I will fear nothing, not even the unknown. Because I have this certainty: Jesus Christ is with me always, and that... that truly is vastly more than enough.

Even greater is that this abundance is not for me alone, not for me to keep and horde. But to joyfully, and freely offer it to all I encounter. Because Jesus, He desires for all His children to know the abundance of life He has for them.

{Freely you have received, Freely give}

Dust

"For He knows our frame;

He remembers that we are but dust."

(Psalm 103:14)

Who can understand the condition of man? We are but dust. Yet somehow, maybe, we think that we are something, we think that we are good. But how can we understand what He has done for us, if we do not know what we are? We are but dust. Out of dust He formed us, and into the dust He breathed life. What is the created thing apart from the Creator? We are but dust.

If I am only dust, and all that I have and all that I am is only anything because He breathed life into my lungs, then who am I to claim anything at all? Who am I to consider myself good? Who am I that I should think I could be any better than anyone else? For you see, we are but dust, and none of us has anything at all if we don't have Him.

Can dust somehow accumulate enough value to earn God? We are but dust, and dust is worth nothing at all. You can multiply nothing as many times as you like, and it still amounts to nothing. How can dust have God if we are worth nothing? Well, this is what makes Him God.

{He loves us even though we are but dust}

Realizing that all of us are but dust changes everything. Not one of us could attain more of God's love, not one of us could be less or more deserving of His love and mercy than any other. We are all equally undeserving of His love, yet we are all equally and freely given it.

So many times His eyes have looked on my humble frame with mercy and compassion. Can I then turn around and look on others with scorn? I am nothing and He has given me everything. Freely I have received, freely I long to give. Freely I have received His mercy, and freely I long to give mercy. Freely I have received His love, and freely I long to give it.

We are but dust, and there is only One who can make that dust anything. Only One who can breathe life into all of our nothingness.

{Thank you God for loving this dust,

and giving us Life in Jesus.}

"Then the LORD God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature.

Jezi, ou se fondasyon mwen...

"For God alone my soul waits in silence;

from him comes my salvation.

He only is my rock and my salvation,

my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken."

(Psalm 62:1-2)

I woke abruptly to a sound like nothing that had reached my ears before. My bed shook beneath me. Half asleep, I saw children jumping down from bunks. Running. Screaming. Fear and terror like I had never seen before covered their faces.

It was only an aftershock. Not even worthy to be compared with the earth-shattering-quake that had changed their lives forever. This memory forever lodged in their brain, of world crashing all around them, devastation far greater than their years. Would they ever not be afraid that everything would fall apart all over again?

Moments later, huddled outside, singing praises to remember the One they trust. Their voices lifted to the heavens, "Jezi, Ou se fondasyon mwen..." The words in English mean, "Jesus, you're my firm foundation." The song continues to say, "I know I can stand secure". As children, and some mothers sang out their hope, I couldn't help but let the tears fall from my eyes.

Everything they knew, everything they had, everything they trusted in, all of their living literally crumbled before their very eyes. Some had lost family, some had lost an arm or a leg, some had lost a home. And still they trusted. Still they stood secure. They were not greatly shaken, and their faith resounded steadfastly.

Do we understand this type of faith? Do we know what it's like to confess trust in our God when the foundation beneath us is faltering? When buildings crash around us, and everything we hope in fails us, do we believe that God is still good and faithful? Does our faith remain steadfast when it is tested?

This memory will never leave me. And these children, who hoped in Jesus when everything was shaken... their faith has changed me. They have shown me what it means to believe when I cannot see. And they have taught me of the steadfast faithfulness of a God who never fails.

"Truly, I say to you,

Unless you turn and become like children,

you will never enter the kingdom of heaven"

(Matthew 18:3)

*NOTE: This blog post is written based off an experience that I had in Haiti with children and orphans who were displaced after the earthquake that took place on January 12th, 2010.

Take and Eat

“Christianity is one beggar telling another

beggar where he found bread.”

I went to the mirror and looked in. The sight I saw was startling. I lifted my hand to touch my sunken in cheeks, to see if it was true. I was hungry. No, I was starving. More than that, I was dying.

I needed to eat, so I searched for a banquet. I found a banquet of delicacies, and feasted. All the sights, smells, tastes. Surely I found the nourishment I needed. I ate my full.

I came back to the mirror to find that I was more sickly than before. I didn't understand. I concluded that I must not have eaten enough, I needed more.

So I returned to the same banquet as before. I ate as much and even more, desperate to keep my body from death. Surely this would do it.

A merry heart walked with me as I returned to the mirror. But it quickly vanished the moment I saw my reflection. I was closer to death than ever before. I was dying of starvation. I thought I needed food. Yet not even the food I thought I so desperately needed could save me.

I sank low. I curled tight. I cried tears, mourning my fate. Hopeless. Waiting to die the death I had no way of overcoming.

Someone came to me. She knelt down tenderly beside me, resting a hand on my arm, "Here, eat this and you will live forever." I had to keep from laughing at the bread she showed me. It was flat and bland. If the delicacies of that banquet didn't save me, surely this unleavened bread could do nothing for me. She shared with me how she had nearly died, how she had laid right where I was, starving. The Bread saved her. She extended the Bread again. This time, I took and I ate. And I was filled.

Coming back to the mirror, I expected to find myself in the same condition as before. But something was different. Life was filling, life was being restored. The more of this Bread I ate, the stronger I became.

I wondered about that banquet. Thinking I could enjoy it all the more now that I wasn't dying. I returned to that place again. What I found was repulsive. I had not been feasting on a banquet at all. I had been filling myself with vomit. With sickness out-poured. What I had been feeding on to try and escape death was the very thing causing death.

But He is the Bread of Life and whoever eats of this Bread will live forever. Death is overcome, and Life, Life Everlasting is given.

When you eat of the Bread of Heaven, you realize those delicacies really aren't delicacies at all.

{Nothing compares to Jesus

Who is the Bread of Life.}

Did they realize Who He was when he came riding into town on that donkey, prophecy fulfilled? And when they called out to Him, "Hosanna, save us now!!" Did they realize they were dying? Did they realize they were starving, and that He was Bread that fills?

This is what I realize this Holy Week. I am emptiness to be filled, and He is God that filleth all in all. That I want to eat of this Bread from heaven, this Life. That the 'delicacies' of this world do not satisfy. He, He alone satisfies, He alone fills. That everyday, I want to take and eat.

Even more than that. I want to give Bread to empty souls.

And the only way to do that is to follow in His steps.

To give your life that others may live.

"I am the living bread which

came down from heaven:

if any man eat of this bread,

he shall live for ever:

and the bread that I

will give is my flesh,

which I will give for

the life of the world."

(John 6:51)

You will never hunger again.

Winter's Promise

"I really just want to be
Warm yellow light that pours

Over everyone I love."

Every year, winter makes a promise. Often times I find myself chilled and cursing the winter I find so hard and cold. Could we just do without it, really? Sometimes winter can feel sad. Everything is quiet, and life gets hidden. There is no bright. There is no warm. There IS beauty, but you wonder why it is so costly. But then I remember, winter makes a promise. Winter prepares the world for spring. New life. Light. Bright warmth. Winter is just a season, but it speaks profoundly. It tells us that this grey will not last forever. Sunshine is coming. Life is coming.

The birds, they wake me up with their singing. The chorus resounds, telling me it's nearly over. And I love those little birds who bring tidings of new life arising. "It's coming! It's coming!" they joyously announce to all who will listen. Do you hear them?

The golden light spills into my room, beckoning me to come and drink in the One who made all this wonder. And all of this light, all of this life springing forth... it all speaks. It all tells me that His promises will not fail.

{That the darkest of winters will always produce the brightest of springs.}

So I bask in the hope of new life coming. And treasure the promises of winter all the more. It is winter that makes spring such a marvelous unfolding, such a wonder to behold. There would be no cherishing of spring if there was no hard winter. And I cherish now, this moment of life. This moment of Him loving me. Of Him speaking through His creation, that there is a purpose for everything. He makes His promises, and they do not fail. And always, always, He is working to bring about LIFE.

"My beloved spake, and said unto me,

Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away.

For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone;

The flowers appear on the earth;

The time of the singing of birds is come,

And the voice of the turtle is heard in our land;

The fig tree putteth forth her green figs,

And the vines with the tender grape give a good smell.

Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away."

(Song of Solomon 2:10-13)

Do you hear Him calling you?

Bizarre Praise

"Eucharisteo- thanksgiving-

Always precedes the miracle"

Ann Voskamp

Eucharisteo- to be grateful, to feel thankful. (Strong's Concordance)

You've waited, you've watched. You've hoped with eager expectation. You can hear, feel your heart pounding loudly all within you. Anticipating. Then it happens. The moment where all your dreams come true. The instance in which everything you've longed for comes to pass. And you give thanks, "Yes, yes Lord, thank you... thank you for this. Thank you for this promise fulfilled. Thank you for this good thing."

And I don't even realize that I've put Him in that box. That box where I have a desire, He fulfills it, and I give thanks. I've made my praise of Him merely a response to what He does for me. My praise of Him has been selfish. My praise has not really been praise at all, but what any normal person would do. It's normal to give thanks when someone does something that pleases you.

Oh, but His Spirit is teaching me.

"My dear God,

I have never thanked You for my thorns.

I have thanked you a thousand times for my roses

but not once for my thorns."

George Matheson

You see, God is doing something strange within me. It's bizarre. It's different. It's unexpected. It's unusual, and abnormal. It's foolishness to the world. It almost seems twisted. But he's teaching me to praise Him for thorns.

No. He's not teaching me to merely say, "Thank you" when faced with a thorn, but then secretly scorn Him for it. He is teaching me eucharisteo, to be grateful to feel thankful for thorns.

Genuine possessing of a thanks-giving soul within me in all things.

How? Because I know my God... And to know Him is to trust Him... and to trust Him is to praise Him in all things.

To praise Him only when He does that which I would consider good is to diminish His very nature. It is in essence to say He is only worthy of praise when He does that which you want.

Oh, but He is always worthy of praise.

In everything. Always. Here. Now. This. HE is worthy of praise.

In weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. HE is worthy of praise.

I stand strong with no other weapon but praise on my lips, and I watch my enemies flee, defeated. To praise Him with the multitudes before me, is to rest my very soul in trust to Him... and He cannot fail. They have no choice but to run.

"And when he (Jehoshaphat)

Had consulted with the people,

He appointed those who should sing to the LORD,

And who should praise the beauty of holiness,

As they went out before the army and were saying:

“Praise the LORD,

For His mercy endures forever.”

Now when they began to sing and to praise,

The LORD set ambushes against

The people of Ammon, Moab, and Mount Seir,

Who had come against Judah;

and they were defeated. "

(2 Chronicles 20:21-22)